the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You were trust falling into bushes
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
