i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
