whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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