so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
