3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Betty ford says i'm here all night
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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