tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
