the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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