I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
