I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
