ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
