I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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