Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize