obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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