I feel great
I just peed on a car
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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