I queefed so loud it echoed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
