from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
