I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
