To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You were trust falling into bushes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
