You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
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I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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