Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
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Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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