Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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