I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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