Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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