Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
