In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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