does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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