do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
