Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
