At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
