She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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