I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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