i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
