I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
