I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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