All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He told me they were just razor bumps!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize