fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Actions speak louder than pants.
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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