Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
