I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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