I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
