i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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