hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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