My hand turned me down
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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