Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They have beer where we have blood.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
