Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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