If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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