you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize