I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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