He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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