I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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