D3 body, D1 cock
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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