I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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