And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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