Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
