I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
