would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I could fuck to npr.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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