I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
