someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
