SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she pinky promised me she was 18
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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