so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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