Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
