You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
