I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
