If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
