i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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