Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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