If i come over, it means nothing
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
