Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Enjoy the penises
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
